What NOT to Wear on a Flight
Because the board shorts, pajama pants and yoga gear have GOT to go.
The "Pro" Athlete
Sure, you might be wearing the signed jersey and the special edition ball cap, but let’s be real. You’re not with the team. ‘Cuz if you were, you’d be drinking Moët in a private plane—not sitting in 28D as the screaming baby next to you gets its diaper changed. So unless you’re a part of the squad, how ’bout retiring the sports paraphernalia to the back of your closet where it belongs.
The Disney Fan
There are statement pieces—a timeless watch, an of-the-moment designer handbag. Then there are Mickey Mouse caps. And despite what the nearest 11-year-old might say, the ears aren’t doing anything for you. A general rule of thumb? Leave the Disney fashion to the kids.
The Surfer Dude
Yo, bro, nice flip flops and board shorts. Classic, “Just-got-back-from-a-week-in-Maui-let-me-tell-you-all-about-it” move. But, listen. Not only is it painful to watch you to shiver in the drafty cabin of a plane, it also depresses us to think that you thought a bathing suit was a savvy fashion choice off the beach. And that’s where you were so, so wrong.
The Party Girl
From the hoop earrings to the bedazzled clutch and 6-inch heels, look, we get it—you’re coming directly from the club. And while we can only imagine how much of a breeze the security lineup is when you’re practically naked, there’s just something about your upper-thigh-baring LBD that doesn’t exactly scream “family friendly”.
We get it: the golden age of flying is over. Be that as it may, show up the airport in a velour bathrobe with plaid pajama pants and bedroom slippers, and we’ll seriously wonder why you even bothered getting out of bed.
Have you recently undergone a hip replacement? If so, by all means continue wearing your rocker bottom shoes. But if you’re able-bodied and under the age of 85, there are NO excuses for sporting these hideous curved-sole shoes. Not to the airport, not on the streets, hell—not anywhere outside the nursing home.
Yoga pants are quick drying, odor resistant and made of performance fabric. So they must be perfect for traveling, right? Negative. Not only are they overly tight and possibly blood-constricting, they’re often so sheer as to be completely see-through (and that’s without the X-ray scanners). They’re called adult pants, people. Try ’em out sometime!