Offbeat

The World’s Craziest Plane Stories (yes, these actually happened!)

We’ve all been on that flight from hell: the one with the granny who shows you every single picture of her grandkids, or the baby who won't stop crying or the couple who argue for half the trip before making out next to you (#NOTFUN). But the horrors of these recent flights beat all your stories. Maybe this year we’ll drive home for the holidays.

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The woman who slapped a flight attendant
Call it Miami heat: A woman on an evening flight from Miami to Chicago was so drunk she attacked a crew member. When the captain made a pit-stop in Indianapolis to drop her off with the police, she kicked a cop and then asked him to "call her Mom." Apparently, this time Mama did raise a fool.

The cat lady who sent fur flying
We love a good cat lady story. A woman brought her feline companion in her purse ⎯ not a proper carrier, for the record ⎯ aboard a Condor Airlines flight from Vegas to Frankfurt. When the crew put the kitty in a bathroom to keep him calm, the woman flew into a rage, punching one of the attendants in the face and screaming that her mob-ties would bring the plane down if she didn’t get her cat back immediately. In the end, the plane did come down safely, dropping her and her crazy at Denver International Airport with the help of two F-16 fighter jets. Cat people!

The chain-smoking wife-hunter
Picture this: Your seat-mate’s breath smells like a spilled bottle of Dewar’s the moment he sits down. He tries to get comfy, so he undoes his belt… He starts asking where his wife is and then pulls out a giant pack of duty-free cigarettes to smoke. Thankfully, flight attendants step in and take the cigarettes away before he has a chance to make the plane smell like a circa 1982 truck stop. But wait! He has another pack hidden away and tries to light those, too. The flight attendants vow to babysit him until the flight lands safely at JFK ⎯ at which point he decides to take off his pants. And they say good service is dead.

The lookalike flight
They say everyone has a twin, somewhere in the world. What if you boarded a plane and sat right next to yours? That’s what happened to two ginger-haired men on a London to Galway flight. The duo look EXACTLY the same, complete with matching burly beards. It was destiny.

The woman who tried to exit a plane, mid-flight
A 30-something drunk passenger on a flight from London to Boston allegedly tried to open one of the plane’s emergency exit doors before being restrained. Greeting her at the gate: Massachusetts State Police. And, we hope, a hot coffee and cold shower.

The ginormous dog who flew first class
We’ve all heard of stellar animal service. And then there’s Hank, a 146-pound Mastiff who was spotted being wheeled around on a dolly at LAX and cuddling up in his own First Class seat. It turns out Hank is a seizure-detection dog for his owner, former model Kari Whitman, and was recovering from surgery. Still, he caught the world’s attention and now has his own Instagram account in case you’re dying to see where he’s off to next. Some dogs have all the luck.

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The woman who gave birth mid-air (on purpose!)
Giving birth is hard, any way you slice it. Giving birth on a plane, on purpose? That’s insane ⎯ but just what happened in October, when a Taiwanese woman birthed a baby over U.S. airspace, so that her child would be an American. She’s been deported and is being asked to pay for the cost of diverting the plane to Anchorage.

The guy who bit somebody⎯ but that’s not the craziest part
In mid-October, a gentleman aboard an Aer Lingus jaunt from Lisbon to Dublin flew into a rage and bit a fellow passenger. He was restrained, became unconscious and sadly died. We now know he had ingested $58,000 worth of drugs, which erupted in his abdomen during the flight. It goes without saying drugs and flying don’t mix. Ever.

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